The Future of the World is Up to Us (1986)

Can one be any more DIY than Dunnville, Ontario's own Kings of Punk, Problem Children? I think not.

This was their first record, released in 1986 on local label, Irate Faction (later issued with the band's own "Problem Children Wreckords" imprint"). Clearly, they needed a graphic artist...but kids, we're talking about the mid 80s, when DIY meant you didn't have a cheap digital camera and some buddy with Photoshop to create your album artwork. You had some buds, some beers, and some pencils...and maybe a typwriter for the inside 8.5x11 sheet that went along to offer the lyrics etc.

This is rock for the pure simple love of playing music and having a good time. This is street level stuff, and you'd be surprised how good the songs are.

This album, being their first, is a little rough around the edges, and very much of its time in most respects. Barney Rebel (bass), Gary Indiana (drums), and leader Jamie Problem (gits, vox) blast their way through a dozen original power chord rockers, with a great mix of political astuteness, and a hell of a sense of humour. While this was a band to stay true to its vision of what punk rock should be (they toured the world on their own, released records on their own, refused to sign to major labels inspite of some serious interest), they didn't take themselves so seriously.

In fact, Jamie Problem (ie, Jamie Stowe, now a happy husband and father in Dunnville) was one of the purest musician/artists in Canadian punk rock history. He did it because he loved it, and didn't want to make money at it. While that attitude pretty much ensures you won't have a super long or successful career, it gives Jamie and this band a level of integrity that most bands will never have.

A little context: punk was not cool in 1986 when this album came out. The first wave of punk rockers had moved on to other things ,grown up, etc. The second wave of hardcore punks had splintered into all sorts of cliques, most of which were too busy trying to out-punk other punks in some way. Problem Children rose above that. As the title of one of their best songs proudly proclaims, "Fuk Yaz All."

Problem Children did it their way. And they did it well. This album was #1 on all sorts of college and community radio stations, and was #1 on the Canadian indie charts after its release. It was popular, and gave them a lot of good press.

This album is a lot of fun to listen to. The sad thing is that you will never ever find a copy of it, no matter how hard you try. Unless you bump into him in his home town and convince him to get a copy from his basement, I'm guessing that this record will never be re-issued on CD/MP3 unless I do it myself, of course.

To offer a few cool samples of how clever and fun these guys were, here's some sample lyrics:

"Plastic Liver"

"All I need is a plastic liver so I can drink all day and never get sick. It goes through my plastic stomach then runs out my rubber dick. Baby Faye was wrong in getting herself a baboon's heart. I can abuse my body 'cause I've got spare parts. I don't have to worry about gettin fixed 'cause all my parts are stock. From the tip of my synthetic hair to the end of my rubber cock. I don't have to worry about getting grey and old. They'll just melt me down and put me in a mold"

Sorry, that's just frikkin funny.

The music on this record is quite advanced considering the time and place it was recorded. They are great musicians who play hard and fast, and their live shows were intense and hilarious. The songs are apropos of the time. This was still the cold war, and so the themes are very much about fear, power, and war. A touch trite at times, but still, they're honest and don't have an air of bullshit that have plagued many up-and-coming bands.

I'll gladly lend this LP to anyone who wants to borrow it. It's a goldmine of hits that no one ever heard, except the dedicated few who lucked out and saw Problem Children in their prime.

On The Air (1987)

This was my first Problem Children purchase, from the Record Dealer in London, Ontario. I bought it because I thought it looked cool...and that was the only reason. After this, I ended up writing to the band, and begging them to drive to Kitchener to headline a punk-rock night at Stages nightclub. They came, to my surprise. If only some customers came...that would have been even better.

This record is the follow-up to their debut album, the critically acclaimed and vastly popular (in indie circles, that is) The Future Of The World Is Up To Us. The songs on this record are even better than the debut. By creating an EP of only 5 songs, they didn't fall into the trap of having to fill a whole album of material for their sophomore effort. This record, while short, is 100% solid from front to back.

The title track is like the little brother of the debut's Fuk Yaz All...it's telling everyone that "yup, we've had some success, we're on the radio...and we did it on our own." The vibe actually reminds me of a quote from Metallica drummer Lars, who once accepted a Grammy by saying "we'd like to thank the Academy, without whom all of this was possible anyway." Sorry, Jamie...if you ever read this, I don't want to insult you by comparing you are Lars...but the message in this instance is quite similar.

Staying Young is pretty self explanatory in a lyrical sense, but the track is blistering.

Side 2 doesn't slow down, with probably the greatest song in the Problem Children catalog: Energy. It's about, well, being energetic. This is youthful exhuberence at its most intense. The gits and bass just trample all over each other and you can practically hear the mosh pit get going on this track.

The EP closes off with two funny songs...1-24 is about drinking a case of beer, and the closer is called The Pit Between Two Signs which is a tongue-in-cheek tribute to their home town, Dunnville.

You cannot beat this record. I've listened to it a few times in the past week, for the first time in years, and it is probably one of the best records in my collection. I only wish this had sold a billion copies.

An additional bonus of this record is the cover itself. The band has assembled a collage of newspaper clippings and concert reviews about themselves, including the list where the first album was #1 on the indie charts. If the reviews enclosed with the EP aren't enough to convince you how good they were, the songs will pound it into your skull: this guys were amazing.

1 Through 24

On The Air

Long Weekend (1988)

This is even more rare than the other Problem Children records I've been writing about today. I found this on ebay about 5 years ago (very cheap, I must say), and didn't even know what was on it. I was hoping maybe it was a live album...as these guys were kick-ass live. However, this is even better in some way. It's a collection of their best songs from the first album and the EP, with a few new songs thrown in for good measure.

This album was released by German label Double A Records in 1988, and I think is the only example of this band having another label release their music. Not sure why it was released, other than as a way to give their European fans an easier way to get the music when the band was driving themselves around the continent doing gigs. Sadly, I don't know any other history of the record at all.

Side 1 is 9 songs from The Future of the World Is Up To Us , so read that review for how wicked cool the songs are.

Side 2 starts with 3 songs from the On The Air EP, and then throws in 4 new tracks (they may have appeared elsewhere, on compilations or something, but as far as I know, this is the only place to find these songs).

Canada's Eulogy is a pretty frikkin angry song about dealing with the United States of America. The music is pretty simple, and it's a fairly strong song, but it doesn't really match the On The Air tracks.

Lover or a Whore is a stupid song that kinda sucks. Not sure what they were thinking...maybe they just needed to fill up the vinyl? If you have this record, you'll probably skip over this one.

Believe is back to pure punk blitzkreig...this song is tough, with a great chorus and strong message about the punk scene. They wanted something to believe in...and who doesn't?

The last track, Long Weekend, is weird. It starts off like a folky CCR song. It starts mellow, and jumps into some intense power chord riffage. I dunno...but this track sounds like Problem Children had managed to wander through Seattle around this time, saw Green River and decided to write a song kinda like them. It's a great track, just atypical for Problem Children (it has acoustic guitar, for cryin' out loud!). Jamie's distinctive vocals stand out, though, and fans will love it.

A great compilation, with one or two weak spots. If you happen to find this album, you'd be smart to grab it.

More Noize From The Playpen (1991)

This is a bizarre album for one main reason. Problem Children were a bunch of kids when they started out in 1984. By 1991, punk was ready to finally cross over into the popular mainstream, full of grunge piss and vinegar...but the Problem Children were starting to think of something that most punks and alt-rockers weren't gonna bother with for some time. The Problem Children were having children.

Jamie Problem, and his lovely mohawk'd wife, Jen, had their first child in 1991. That made their newest album (available only on cassette) More Noize From The Playpen, a slightly different vibe from their earlier recordings.

The songs on this album are much more mature, more thoughtful. However, fatherhood didn't make Jamie any less angry about the world, it just made him more dedicated to his own art and his efforts to make the world a better place through music.

My favourite song on here is We've Been Screwed, which goes on about the corporatization of punk rock music, and how bands were getting the screwjob from record companies, distributers, promoters etc. Best line: "Everybody's making money off of punk rock except the punks." It was true, and strangely timed considering the Nirvana explosion that happened a few months after this record came out.

Jamie goes on about the sad state of punk rock in Drawing Lines, where he bashes punk bands for trying to out-punk each other, and making the scene so competitive. In his eyes, punk was about unity, friendship, and helping each other out. So many bands just wanted to make a buck, which was the antithesis of his thinking.

Another stand-out track is a love song. Yup, it's an honest-to-God love song on a punk album. Four Letter Word is written for his wife, Jen. It's a pretty song, with power chords and some pretty melodies.

This record is a classic, in my opinion. I remember when they gave me a copy of this tape...I played it over and over and over. In 1991, I listened to this album more than Nirvana or any of the stuff that was huge at the time. It was all about Problem Children, baby. This thing didn't leave my tape deck for a year.

The album ends with another great booze track: Beer and Guitars . They've always managed to write great drinking songs, and the riffage on this track is stunning.

No half-assed tracks on this one. It's gold through and through.

Blue Skies

We've Been Screwed

Beer and Guitars

The Kids Next Door (1993)

"A Note: A hearty fuck you! To all those "independent" and "alternative" bands who've signed with major labels over the past few years. I can't put my disgust into words. Let's just say that all this easy access to alternative music via major lables, mass marketing, and rock concert style shows is making everyone really fucking lazy. You're quickly becoming consumers rather than part of a scene. Jamie - April 1993"

This note is included in the booklet of Problem Children's final album, and first CD, The Kids Next Door. Reading that, you might think Jamie was suffering with some sour grapes after seeing some bands start making big money...but that's not the case. He thought punk should be on the periphery of pop culture, where it had always been. However, in the early 90s it all caught on really big and some people made a lot of money mimicking what "real punk bands" did. Nothing new under the sun, in my opinion. Like rock and roll itself, the "business establishment" had figured out a way to sell punk, just like the found a way to sell rock and roll music 40 years earlier.

Oh ya, and this album is also notable for one cool feature. This is the only CD (to date) that has "Kevin McGowan" listed in its list of thank-you people. I booked them for two shows, where they didn't make much money...but they still gave me a thank-you for trying. Decent people, they are.

So, he was pissed that these bands had entered the mainstream. It was bound to happen sometime, I guess. He had also split with his two former band mates, and the Problem Children trio had only himself as the remaining original member. From what I recall, the split was not good...and his opinion on that split is captured in Bitter , a pissy song about Barney, the former bass player. In spite of the angry topic, the song rocks...with a great singalong chorus and some explosive riffs.

This album is pretty good...not quite as solid as More Noize From The Playpen...but it's pretty damn close. I've actually heard the token drinking song, Beer For Breakfast, on the Ottawa community radio station a few months ago (that's right...in 2007), so it can't be all bad. The songs are all strong, and sung with passion and played with expert musicianship...but I don't see the Problem Children sound evolving much here. They are similar to the Ramones in that regard...they have their sound and their place, and haven't changed things too much to keep things interesting. Once you have one of the Problem Children records...that's pretty much all you need. It's nice to hear different rhythms and lyrics, and different players on this album, but we've heard all of these songs before.

Problem Children were a great band, in any incarnation. And their ability to write and release top-quality music was remarkable. however, even "remarkable" gets tired after a while, when you're repeating yourself and not bringing a lot of new things to the table. Like the other great punk bands before them, after a few albums, you've heard it all. </div><div></div><div>I lost touch with the Problems after this record. I know they toured around for a while, but as far as I know they called it quits within a few years of recording this album. Too bad...but I'm guessing his family life keeps him pretty busy.

Jamie, wherever you are...I hope you're happy doing whatever it is that you're doing. If you ever want to record a new album...I'll be the first in line to pick it up.

Beer For Breakfast

Bitter

Comments:

Hi Kevin

A buddy of mine and I were talking about obscure punk bands today and
I mentioned Problem Children, which then got me remembering my old
albums which then got me wondering what happened to them and then... I
ended up at your site, which must be the most comprehensive
commemoration of PC albums in the world! I'd never even heard of "Long
Weekend"!

First, thanks for bringing up excellent memories. My fondest PC memory
is almost getting beat up as a teen in Northern Ontario for listening
to "The Future of the World" - they mistook punk for being "skinhead"
and that went over badly. But it all ended well, I introduced them to
Faith No More's "We Care Alot" and we all became friends, sort of.

Second, do you know of any way or anywhere these albums can be found
or purchased or downloaded as mp3s? My records are long lost but I'd
love to get "The Future of the World" and "The Kids Next Door" in
particular back into my music collection. If you can help it would be
greatly appreciated!

At any rate, an excellent site that's completely blown my afternoon
but was well worth it. Thanks for writing your commentaries and
stirring up my memories.

Regards
Chris